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Convolutions of an Evil Mind
madamhydra
madamhydra
COI - Ficlet: Turk Ed (FF7 AU, COIverse)
59 hisses or Hiss in my ear....
Comments
askaram27 From: askaram27 Date: April 11th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is the only rational, reasonable explanation I've ever found for SOLDIERS using swords and other melee weapons. It makes me warm and happy inside, that you put so much thought into fanworks like this. It really shows your love.

And the "grand theft chocobo" explanation--I had to read it twice before I believed it. Now I have this image of Zack running through the streets of Midgar with a half-ton chicken upside-down on his head, cackling madly whilst the bird warks in fear with its wings and legs a-flailing. :D
madamhydra From: madamhydra Date: April 11th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is the only rational, reasonable explanation I've ever found for SOLDIERS using swords and other melee weapons. It makes me warm and happy inside, that you put so much thought into fanworks like this. It really shows your love.

::blush:: Thanks! I'm glad you think my idea is plausible. Yes, I've puzzled about why the hell SOLDIERs always seemed to be using melee weapons when automatic weapons are readily available. It was really only after I saw "Last Order", when Zack danced through all that machine gun fire and "Advent Children", when Cloud regularly deflects bullets shot by Yazoo (who's certainly no ordinary human) with his sword, that a workable theory clicked for me. Of course that theory only works if you've got extraordinary reflexes and visual perception, which is fortunately pretty well supported in the canon.

I mean, can you imagine how frustrating it must be for Sephiroth to use a handgun? To him, the bullets probably look like they're constantly moving in slow motion. In the time it takes for that bullet to reach its target, someone like Sephiroth could have cast a spell or two AND drawn Masamune. And considering Sephiroth's and the First Classes's strength, they probably have no problem just hand-throwing pebbles at lethal velocities. Forget needing a slingshot or anything like that. -_-

While a master gunman like Vincent probably has both combination of skill, speed, and special weaponry to do the type of predictive shooting necessary to effectively target and hit SOLDIERs, normal humans certainly don't. Augmented Turks can probably do it, but only if they're very good and are lucky.

And the "grand theft chocobo" explanation--I had to read it twice before I believed it. Now I have this image of Zack running through the streets of Midgar with a half-ton chicken upside-down on his head, cackling madly whilst the bird warks in fear with its wings and legs a-flailing. :D

Personally, I think that some of the chocobos found it rather fun to be sitting on a running human for once. I mean, with the SOLDIER bent over, a chocobo could balance upright on his back, with its legs neatly tucked up underneath it. It all depends on the SOLDIER's particular chocobo-carrying style. ^_-
askaram27 From: askaram27 Date: April 12th, 2007 09:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
True, but what large herd animal would be calm while being carried at high speed?
madamhydra From: madamhydra Date: April 12th, 2007 11:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
::blink blink::

But I thought you knew that chocobos are not your usual large herd animals. They're... well, chocobos. And while some times (e.g., racing birds) are perhaps not so brave and not so smart, a warbird (i.e., combat-trained chocobos) can be VERY smart and unlikely to panic. So a lot depends on the bird. ^_-
askaram27 From: askaram27 Date: April 13th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ok, I can see that. It's just that I usually liken chocobos to horses, and most horses would freak when carried in such a way.

Or maybe it's a leftover from my chicken-throwing Zelda days. I loved doing that, despite the humiliation of chicken-death later.
__perplexity__ From: __perplexity__ Date: April 12th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
It all depends on the SOLDIER's particular chocobo-carrying style. ^_-

Permission to admit open and out-loud laughter at just that last line XD ^-^ *night is made*
59 hisses or Hiss in my ear....