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COI - Zack, dark and dangerous - Convolutions of an Evil Mind — LiveJournal
COI - Zack, dark and dangerous
39 hisses or Hiss in my ear....
chaeotica From: chaeotica Date: November 10th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

You're on a roll!

Yay! I haven't had this much COI!Crack since the last time I went on a Hydra-fic binge. It's still great, and getting deeper/darker, which is all cool. I also like the fact that you put in Strife POV outside of a Cloud's-drugged-out-of-his-mind-and-it-shows scene.

I only noticed a couple small problems, and they both involved missing quotes:
Cloud laughed bitterly. "You've got it all wrong. Hojo and his cronies are 'scientists'. He used a sharp flick of two gloved fingers...
Needs ending quotes after 'scientists'. I think the period should be inside the single-quotes too, but i could be wrong.

To literally become your victim's GOD.
Needs ending quotes after GOD.

Other than that, everything's great from what I saw! Keep up the great work!
madamhydra From: madamhydra Date: November 10th, 2005 06:35 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: You're on a roll!

Oops! Yes, typos all over the place. ::sigh:: Thanks for pointing them out. ::making corrections::

While he started out as a part of the original Cloud's own psyche, Strife now definitely has his own identity and his own voice. He's quite the egomaniac, isn't he?

There's a nice sort of creepiness in knowing that Strife is constantly lurking in the background, watching everything that's going on and interpreting it in his own totally twisted way.
39 hisses or Hiss in my ear....