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COI - Zack, dark and dangerous - Convolutions of an Evil Mind — LiveJournal
madamhydra
madamhydra
COI - Zack, dark and dangerous
39 hisses or Hiss in my ear....
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redcrest From: redcrest Date: November 10th, 2005 05:59 am (UTC) (Link)
Ahhh~~ you finished that side story!! XD I love the new touches at the end-- so *that's* how the Seph-Zack relationship will become endangered again-- Strife is targeting Sephiroth! 0_0 And with all the guilt Sephi is feeling for what he's done to Zack/Cloud, he wouldn't defend himself, would he? (especially if he thought it was what Zack/Cloud wanted) Nooo~~~ I don't want Zack and Seph to be separated again~~~ ;__; But more Sephiroth in the story period would be good... ^___^ Kyaa, tanoshimi ni!

As for the story itself, I still think the writing is a teeny bit stiff in the first half, but by the time you get to Reno's "Why the hell didn't I sense anything?!" outburst, your usual, wonderfully flowing writing comes rushing back in and carries us in an entranced heap to the end of the story. ^__^ I'm REALLY looking forward to the next chapter of COI~~ and since I usually whine for more Zack, I'll mix it up a bit and whine for more Sephiroth! (I seriously enjoyed that single paragraph on what Sephiroth was doing WAY too much... ^^) Can't wait to see him brushing his teeth or something utterly normal like that... ^^;;
madamhydra From: madamhydra Date: November 10th, 2005 07:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yup, finally got around to finishing up this snippet.

And what do you mean Sephiroth won't defend himself? Do you think he's just going to stand around and let a raving psycho like Strife cut his throat without putting up a struggle? ::points to the chocobo drabble for the answer to that question:: Because believe me, Sephiroth can most definitely tell the difference between Zack and Strife. In fact, Sephiroth will sense something's happened to Zack before everyone else does... except for the poor guy who happens to be around when Strife makes his move. ::cough::Yuffie::cough::

I know the beginning of the drabble is a bit stiff and dry, because it's mostly narrative. But in a way, a sense of stiffness and restraint does suit that part. It's a rather tense and awkward situation -- Reno's going to see his sister's body, his mind filled with questions and guilt; Cloud's going back to a place with the very worst possible mental associations. So it's easy to imagine a rather stilted atmosphere until the dam breaks and Reno blurts out his question. But I'll definitely take a closer look at the tone at the beginning and tweak it if necessary.

Sephiroth brushing his teeth? Hmmm... can't oblige you there. But how about this?

Picture Sephiroth getting out of the shower and stepping out of a steamy bathroom wearing nothing but a tanktop and a pair of shorts. Picture him drying off his hair with a towel while casually talking (and I mean only talking!) to Cloud/Zack. Picture Tifa barging into the room and encountering this scene. Picture Sephiroth making an extremely acid comment on the lines of "What did you expect? And yes, I put my pants on, one leg at a time."

::slithers away, laughing maniacally::
redcrest From: redcrest Date: November 14th, 2005 09:32 am (UTC) (Link)
LoL, you've mentioned this fabled shower scene before-- but twice means, it's really gonna be in part 8?? <3 Ohhh, happy day~~ seriously, o tanoshimi ni!! XD

And-- Yuffie?! Strife?? You evil, evil person~~ throwing out enticing morsels of info like that when we have to wait for who knows how long for part 8? Gwah, now I'm dying to know what happens~~ ;__; But don't tell me-- I'll wait patiently for part 8 so I'll have lots and lots of goodies to have all at once when the time comes. ^__^ Ganbare!!
39 hisses or Hiss in my ear....