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Convolutions of an Evil Mind
COI - new COI drabble
32 hisses or Hiss in my ear....
mukanshin From: mukanshin Date: November 8th, 2005 02:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
I found myself being a little overly critical for this drabble. ^^; Maybe it's because of the note that it was essentually unbetaed, which tends to want to bring out the beta-er in me. *woes*

Over all I rather like it. ^___^. The interaction between the three of them is great though you keep making Nikki go from female to male and back again. o.o; It was a bit disjointed though not so much so in the comical/serious way, but more in that the second half seems to be better suited as going before the conversation in the front half, in my mind.

The little hints *pachuu* suicide. *pachuu* On both Clouds (did he try or just think about it whilst in Nibelheim?) and Sephy's (being killed by Zack's hand if it came to it...?) sides. Oh how you know how to get my little fangirl heart a twitter. <3 <3

My main gripe with it is however that I can't get myself to place it within the overall story very well. *sniffles* At first I was thinking it had to be after teaser 2, Ch 8, because it sounded like they'd already agreed on what to do with Seph since he was giving Cloud report data (things having settled a bit and all), but then in the second half it seemed like it had moved back in time really close to them either still deciding or just having decided wich made it feel like it should go before teaser 2, Ch 8, but the mood of the peice doesn't seem like a good lead in to the somber mood and ponderings of said teaser 2, Ch 8. X.x Needless to say I love and adore teaser 2, Ch 8. <3 I'm very protective of it and on some level view this drabble as a threat to it. ~.~;

But all those things aside, me really likes a lot and thanks ye for posting it. <3 Question: Are you going to post this drabble and the one previous on COI's main or sub page?
madamhydra From: madamhydra Date: November 8th, 2005 04:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I know the first and second halves seemed to be a bit incongruous. I wrote the 2nd part first, but when I started working on the intro, the conversation took a left turn into seriousness. But I think that the order (serious, then funny) works for my purposes -- ending the scene on a humorous note gives the story a nice upbeat touch, and prevents the story from being one long angst-wallow. Putting the serious part at the end just seems like such a downer. Bleah.
Because in the end, this story is very much about the triumph of love, comraderie, respect, devotion, and all that sort of mushy stuff. ^_^ Although don't expect people (especially Sephiroth!) to go around using the 'love' word.

Really, why am I so drawn to people who obviously feel very deeply, but almost never express it in conventional ways (i.e., verbally) -- Sephiroth, Kaiba, Aoshi, Saitoh, Sanzou, etc.? ::ponder::

Anyway, when I work this drabble into the actual story, the transition will hopefully be much more believable. ^_^;;

As for placing it in the framework of COI, that's admittedly a bit vague. And don't you mean teaser 1 (which is the conversation between Cloud and Sephiroth), because teaser 2 is the COI version of the events 6 years ago at Nibelheim? ^_-

Do remember that teaser 1 is rather old, and the plot's gone through some serious tweaking since I wrote it. That's not to say it's obsolete, of course! ::ducks quickly::

If I had to place it, I would say that your first instincts were correct and it does takes place after teaser 1, where everyone is still pondering what the heck to do about Sephiroth. Teaser 1 would have taken place after the initial round of discussions, while everything is still up in the air. Cloud's still in the process of trying to sort out his admittedly mixed feelings about Sephiroth. But by this point, it's pretty well understood by both sides what the only reasonable decision is (i.e., working together).

So at the beginning of this drabble, everyone knows they have to cooperate. However, the details of that cooperation are still unsettled and vague. Therefore, the discussion in the middle part of the above drabble is really more of an act of courtesy and consideration on Cloud's part, so he can explain his and his friends' reasoning more fully to Sephiroth and set out more clearly what is expected (and needed) from both sides. Because up until that moment, it's unclear to Sephiroth how much of this is Cloud's decision and how much input the other had (clearly, a lot). From this, Sephiroth now knows that he can expect reasonable cooperation from the others (and somewhat reluctant cooperation from Tifa and Barrett).

I hope that what I said makes sense. ::sweatdrop:: I'm sorry if it doesn't sound that way, but hopefully it will once I start piecing everything together. ^_^;;

Unfortunately, due to my recent computer problems, my website files are a total mess, so I wouldn't be updating the website for a while. ::sigh::

mukanshin From: mukanshin Date: November 9th, 2005 01:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ah! *points* Another drabble already up! X3!!

*nods* The order does go very well and what is angst and all that without love and such.

*hugglz chibi Sanzo Houshi-sama plushie* Probablly because of the same reasons I'm drawn to them. And also to the kinda 'kicked puppy dog-ish' ones too... >.>

~.~ Yes. I did mean Teaser 1, Ch 8. I have an obsessive compulsive thing towards even numbers. Damn obssessive complusiveness.

Hai~ I believe it came out right after I had first found COI many a years back. <3 *wobbly eyes* I hope not obsolete. I'm prepaired to bribe. :ninja: Is seriously, I think, one of my all time fav peices to the work. And yes it all made sense, thank you for the clearification.

*remiss* And I read about your 'puter problems too. Dang short term memories on the fritz again. x.x
32 hisses or Hiss in my ear....